We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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