You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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