glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sext me about skeletons
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
