He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
