It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
