A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sorry my hands just texted you
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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