hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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