Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
