new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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