hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
