I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
