I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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