he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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