It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
