well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
