The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
