Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
