so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
