Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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