The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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