Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
