Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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