put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
NoShamevember. You game?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
