The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
its liver damage thursday
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
