Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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