But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
