we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
