I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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