It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
