I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
