i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
