She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize