Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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