I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She's the barista slut.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
