? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Someone shit on the floor
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
