I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
