She is in my trunk
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize