I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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