I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
