whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
