She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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