So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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