"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
