her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
