Small penises have feelings too.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
