If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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