she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
