I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
