Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
