I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
only you would photoshop your dick
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
