North Korea, Best Korea!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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