I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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