i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Oh god it's open bar.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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