I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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