Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
