What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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