how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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