Someone shit on the floor
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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