My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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