So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
