Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
