Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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