He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
