He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It's blow job season.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
