wat bout pragnant strippers??
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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