Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize