Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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