dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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