this beer tastes like vomit already
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
