I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
