Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
