If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
