i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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