Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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