no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Farmville is her only friend.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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