Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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