ugly people sure do ruin things
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
