please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
