He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
